A Very Violent Valentine's Day
by Optronix Prime
Summary: This is not how Sideswipe and Sunstreaker thought they'd be spending the human holiday.


**A/N: Disclaimer, I do not own Transformers.**

"What do you mean you can't just throw everything together? It's all gotta go in anyway, so why not just start pouring the stuff in?" Prowl fought the urge to throw a wooden spoon at Sideswipe's helm.

"Because baking is an art. It takes time for certain ingredients to bond. Some don't like each other –" Prowl shot Sideswipe a nasty look as he said this. "– so they need to settle in a cooling chamber before being formed or mixed again. Candy making is not for the young and reckless."

"You mean fridges. This is Earth," Sideswipe chided. Sunstreaker gave him a smack on the arm.

"So Sideswipe," Mirage stated plainly for the room. Sideswipe scowled.

"I bet ya twenty credits that I make better Energon candy than you, Mirage," he replied heatedly. Mirage shook his helm.

"Don't embarrass yourself, Sideswipe. You simply don't have the patience to make candy. As Prowl said, it's an art for the classy. You can't make art and you have no class." Sideswipe threw his twin a look of why-the-hell-aren't-you-sticking-up-for-me?! Sunstreaker rolled his optics at Sideswipe.

"He's not wrong." Mirage smirked in victory as Sideswipe cried out in fury as he was backstabbed by his own brother.

"Enough!" Prowl snapped, his wings arching up in irritation. "If you want to learn, shut up and pay attention. If not, get your aft out of the rec room before I kick it out." Mirage, Sideswipe, Sunstreaker, and Bluestreak all kept their mouths shut. Bluestreak had been babbling away the minute he'd wandered in, happily surprised to find that Prowl was giving one of his very rare candy making sessions. He was simply thrilled. Mirage had come to learn in order to surprise Hound – not that he would actually admit to such a thing. Sideswipe was under the illusion that if he successfully made these candies that Silverflare would no longer be mad at him. He had been the one to suggest (pester) Prowl into giving the lesson. Sunstreaker knew why Flare was angry with his brother, but didn't mention it. Sunstreaker was here with a similar reason to Mirage: he was making these ridiculous candies for Optronix for the ridiculous human holiday that was today.

It was early in the morning, the patrol already having gone out. There was plenty of time to make these candies and surprise their sweethearts.

"Alright," Prowl began, and without pause, flew into the directions. He had set up everything they had needed in the rec room, including hot plates and cooling chambers. Energon, metal additives, crystals, and more littered the three tables that had been pressed together. Alongside all that were bowls, spoons, and measuring devices that were certainly not from Earth.

Sideswipe tried, he really did. Prowl was actually going slow enough for the other four, and their shifting crowd of onlookers, to follow. Sideswipe was going downhill faster than a mudslide in April. His batch was turning a sickly green color while everyone else's was pale pink.

[[Sunny, HELP!]] Sunstreaker looked over at the bowl of green and then at his brother.

[[I think you're beyond help. Why did you add copper flakes to it already? Prowl said to wait until after it's heated.]] Sunstreaker mixed his batch, the color growing paler as he added a white crystalline powder to it.

[[I added what before my when?]] Sunstreaker groaned quietly, wanting to let his brother sink on his own. Mirage and Bluestreak were doing well, now dripping the pink opaque liquid into circular tins. Sunstreaker was nearly there. He just had to keep stirring and drizzling a clear thickener into it as he was now doing. Sideswipe's Energon candies were looking more and more like something a human child purged up when ill. At the pleading look Sideswipe threw him, Sunny relented. After all, he could make another batch successfully; Sideswipe could not. When the others weren't looking, they switched bowls.

[[You owe me.]]

[[I know.]]

"So how long do we have to wait for the candies to harden?" Bluestreak chirped excitedly. His wings were fluttering madly, his smile brilliant. Mirage was looking very pleased with himself as he tucked his batch into the cooling chamber Prowl had supplied.

"About six hours, but it may be less as the atmosphere here on Earth is much thicker, so they may crystalize faster." Sideswipe was pouring his mixture into the tins as Sunstreaker started over, tossing the bowl and its grotesque contents straight into the trash.

"So how's it going Sideswipe?" Mirage asked rather snootily. Sideswipe smirked as he carefully put his tin into the cooling chamber.

"Pretty damn well. Thanks for asking," he snarked back. Mirage looked surprised.

"I guess we'll see later, won't we? What do you think the odds are that Silverflare gets violently ill after consuming your 'candies'?"

"Go and shove it up your exhaust pipe, Mirage," Sunstreaker chimed in. Mirage threw his shoulders back and left, bringing Prowl and Bluestreak with him.

"Took ya long enough," Sideswipe murmured.

"I gave you my perfectly prepared candies. Shut up before I knock you out cold." Sideswipe didn't press. It didn't take too long for Sunstreaker to make another batch. He added a few extras this time around, knowing exactly what Optronix would like in it.

"Alright, let's head into town!" Sideswipe announced. Sunstreaker did not look happy with the suggestion.

"And just why would we do that?"

"To pick out a few gifts for the ladies, of course." Sunstreaker reluctantly went with, only because he knew Nix would really love it if he celebrated this stupid human holiday with her.

"…and then this lion pounced on me, his claws ripping into my frame. It was all I could do to keep him from taking my helm off! Sunny pulled out his gun and shot the wild beast twenty-seven times before it collapsed in a sad, bloody heap at my peds." Sideswipe's story grew wilder as Ratchet continued to fix him. Both twins were an absolute wreck. Sideswipe's arm had been dislocated from his shoulder, his leg in struts until it could be examined closer. Deep welts and claw marks were all over his frame. Sunstreaker's paint was destroyed. His servos were cracked, welts and claw marks littering his back, much like his brother.

"Then once the lion went down, we were flung into the pen with a rhino and bull. Next thing I know I'm in the air in the clutches of this freakish orange bird. I'm swatting at it, trying to get my gun free only to realize that I'd dropped it." It was clear that Ratchet had stopped listening long before Sideswipe's story had gotten to the fifteen minute mark. Sunstreaker was leaning against the far wall, leaking Energon in rivulets which pooled at his peds. Sunstreaker was mildly amused at the detail Sideswipe was throwing into his story. It sounded more like they raided an angry zoo than fighting the Predacons. What had started out as a Wal-Mart run had turned into a race, which turned into a collision with Rampage, which became a five-on-two fight that the Twins happily could say they won.

"Sunstreaker, explain in one short sentence why you two morons are sitting in my Medbay again," Ratchet demanded as he pulled on Sides' arm and with a rather sickening crunch, popped it back into place. Sideswipe had had his arm yanked out of its socket so many times before that he hardly twitched at the pain of it.

"Sideswipe didn't look both ways before crossing the street," Sunstreaker said smugly. Instantly Sideswipe cried in outrage.

"I looked! I swear I looked! It's not my fault that a stupid tiger decided to be lounging in the middle of the road!"

"Not my fault you crashed right into a stupid tiger."

"Idiots, both of you," Ratchet huffed as he sprayed anti-virus into Sideswipe's wounds and slapped protective mesh over it.

"Uh, gentle please!" Sideswipe yelped. Ratchet simply glared, inching to pull a wrench on him. The three of them were silent for the next half hour or so, the only noise the soft _drip-drip_ of Energon leaking from Sunstreaker's forearm and onto the floor. Sideswipe was mostly patched up when a shout of horror shattered the quiet Medbay. All three of them whipped around to see Optronix standing in the doorway, a large, brown paper bag in her arms. She was staring at Sunstreaker, optics wide and bright with worry. She nearly dropped the bag as she hurried over to him, panic in her face.

"Oh my gosh! What happened to you?! Why are you bleeding like crazy? Where have you even been?! I've been trying to comm you all day!" She set the bag down and instantly went to work, leading Sunstreaker over to a medical berth. Sunstreaker never would have admitted it, but he liked it when she fussed over him like this. He knew he was okay. He'd received way worse injuries in the past, but there was something about her paying attention to him like this that warmed his spark. He was usually the one that had to worry about all of them, even Flare on a few occasions. It was times like this that he was more than willing to let someone else look out for him, even though he insisted that he was 'just fine' without answering any of her prior questions.

"You are not! Look at the state of you!" Optronix was already whisking together everything she needed to repair him as Ratchet finished up on Sideswipe.

"You'll need reconstructive surgery on that leg. You've torn through nearly every cable in your knee joint. I'm amazed you even managed to transform let alone get your sorry aft back here without passing out. You'll have to stay the night. It's going to be a slow recovery. The surgery'll last three – no four – hours, maybe more depending on the extend of trauma on the struts themselves. I've got to see to Cliffjumper, whose T-Cog _magically_ has a metal dowel jammed it in. I wonder who did that." It was fairly obvious to the four of them in the room for who would take the time and effort to ram a dowel into Cliffjumper; that bot would be Silverflare.

"What?!" Sideswipe and Sunstreaker shouted at the same time. The glower that Sunstreaker shot Sideswipe would have made any other mech wither.

"You heard me," Ratchet replied, turning away.

[[You've ruined my whole night!]] Sunstreaker snapped over their bond. He had had the entire night for him and Optronix planned out. He knew how much she loved the humans' holidays. He'd planned all of her favorite things, a quiet drive to the seaside to look at the stars and give her the candies he'd made along with the biggest teddy bear he'd ever seen before. It was nearly as big as she was. He'd also decided to finally agree to something else she'd always wanted to do as well, but that was between them. Everything was ruined now that Optronix would be spending the evening in surgery with his dumbass twin.

[[I'm sorry! It's not like I wanted to get my leg half-blown off on the most romantic night on Earth! It's not like I want to spend four plus hours in stasis with your femme stitching me back together!]] Sideswipe shot back. Sunstreaker growled lowly at Sideswipe, shooting daggers at him. Sideswipe was the only mech who would have been unfazed by the hostile looks Sunstreaker could possess.

"You two don't have to bicker," Optronix said calmly as she held a magnet to Sunstreaker's elbow to keep a strut in place as she dipped her digits into the joint to weld the struts back in place. Normally this was incredibly painful when Ratchet did it. He would have had to break out the welder and remove parts of his armor just to be able to see what he was doing. Optronix had a few tricks under her armor that Ratchet simply didn't have. Her optics had a very advanced scanner that allowed her to see through certain layers of armor to a certain depth, similar to the concept of x-ray vision. She focused her thoughts on warming up her digit tips, within a minute, her digits were burning hot and welding his struts back together. It stung, but it wasn't anything Sunstreaker couldn't handle.

"Sunshine's just angry that I get you all to myself tonight," Sideswipe explained, looking down at his rather pathetic leg. She didn't look up from her task.

"What? Worried that I'm going to take advantage of your brother when he's knocked out?" Sunstreaker flinched, optics widening. Thankfully, Optronix had predicted this and had pulled her servo away so nothing was damaged. Sideswipe gaped at her, optics brightening.

"Primus, Nix. I didn't think you had somethin' like that in you." She smirked up at him.

"Well, you're not quite my type, but…" She let the suggestion hang, looking over at Sunstreaker to see his reaction. He grabbed her face, not roughly, but not gentle either. He crashed his lips against hers in a controlling, domineering kiss. A surprised moan slipped from her lips.

"You are mine. _Got it_?" Sunstreaker questioned shortly, his optics a hard blue. She smiled.

"Got it." Sideswipe chuckled. Sunstreaker kissed her again for good measure. Optronix went back to fixing his arm, small gold and orange sparks flying from where her digits made contact with his metal struts. It didn't take Optronix long to finish piecing Sunstreaker's arm back together.

"So I'm going to take Sideswipe back. I can fix up your paint tomorrow if you're willing to wait," she said as she started washing up and prepping medications for Sideswipe's surgery. Sunstreaker walked over and wrapped his arms around her waist, resting his chin on top of her helm. When she looked up, Sunstreaker swooped down and gave her another firm kiss. She squealed in delight, dropping the scalpel she was holding.

"What has gotten into you?" She sounded surprised. It certainly wasn't like him to be so obviously affectionate. Sunstreaker shrugged.

"Just a little sad I don't get to spend Valentine's Day with you, I suppose." Her optics brightened.

"You remembered?" He nodded.

"I had a whole evening planned, but it looks like you'll be spending it elsewhere." She shrugged, smiling softly.

"Guess we'll have to take a raincheck." He furrowed his optics at her, not understanding. She giggled again, bending down to retrieve the scalpel.

"Raincheck means we're postponing until we're both free." He nodded slowly, internally looking up the definition.

"But it's not raining…" She burst into a fit of giggles. She kissed his cheek before slipping out of his arms and back over to Sideswipe.

"Oh Sunny~" she whispered under her breath.

"Later bro," Sideswipe called as Optronix rolled him away to a private room.

Sunstreaker wandered down through the Ark, finding that being so late in the day now that everyone was already out doing something to celebrate the human holiday. He entered the rec room, expecting it to be empty. It wasn't. Silverflare was there playing with a Cybertronian sized deck of human playing cards. She glanced up at him, wings spreading out automatically, waiting for his hostile comments.

"You waiting for Sides?" She nodded, shuffling the deck. "You're getting stood up tonight." Her wings bristled.

"And why's that?"

"He was being his stupid self and got his leg torn open. He's in surgery with Nix for the next four or so hours." Light rolled across her visor in an obvious optic-roll. Her wings fell a little, but stiffened when Sunstreaker joined her at the table.

"What are you playing?" He was trying to be polite only because he really didn't want to go back and sulk for the night at his ruined agenda. Silverflare shrugged again, still shuffling.

"We could play Egyptian Rat Slap," Sunstreaker suggested. She looked at him, not knowing the game. He explained, taking the cards and dealt them out, half to him and half to her. Soon they were wrapped up in one of the most violent card games Silverflare had ever played and because Sunstreaker was not afraid of hurting her, she wasn't afraid to hurt him. Every time a particular set of cards came up, Sunstreaker and Silverflare would slap the pile of cards with as much force as they could muster. They slapped this hard mostly to try and injury each other. After an hour of vicious play, Silverflare's speed trumped Sunstreaker's brute strength. During the second half of their game, they'd attracted quite the crowd. Mechs without dates for the night had migrated to the rec room when they'd heard the avid swearing and pained noises.

"Ay want in on dis," Jazz said with a grin. "C'mon Prowler." Prowl's wings arched up, optics a stern, cold blue.

"I will not partake in such a childish and violent game," he stated coldly. Silverflare and Sunstreaker wore identical smirks.

"More like you can't handle it," Silverflare taunted.

"Since this is something mechs do for _fun_ his glitch'll act up," Sunstreaker stated loudly for the handful of Autobots lingering around: Tracks, Wheeljack, Inferno, Blaster, and Optimus himself.

"You can't take that lyin' down Prowl," Blaster called as he refueled his cube. "Show Sunstreaker who's really in charge." Optimus looked expectantly at his Second in Command.

"Oh-oh alright! I will participate in this-this ludicrous card game!" Jazz's visor glowed as his smile widened.

"Good choice, Prowler," Jazz crowed. Prowl and Jazz took seats and Silverflare dealt and even thirteen cards to everyone. Jazz revealed the first card and it all went downhill from there.

It was nearly two in the morning when Optronix finished cleaning up from Sideswipe's reconstructive surgery. It was around this time that four bots moseyed into the Medbay with flat, cracked, and bleeding right servos. Their game of Egyptian Rat Slap had gotten so intense that Jazz's servo was actually broken. Optronix just gaped at them as Silverflare threw her a sheepish, bashful smile, her wings dipping.

"So Happy Valentine's Day…"

"It is 02:30. It is officially February 15th, Silverflare."

"And that's _not_ the point, now is it Prowl?" she snapped. Optronix just shook her helm, turning away.

"I just spent six and a half hours preforming reconstructive surgery on one idiot. I am not doing another until tomorrow."

"Officially –"

"Prowl, _not helping_!" Silverflare snapped. Silverflare sauntered up to Optronix, fluttering her wings playfully. Her visor slid up so she could bat her optics at her. "Please will you patch us up? Pretty please?" She pouted for good measure. They could all see the internal struggle Optronix was having. She had a hard time resisting Silverflare when she pulled out her optics. No one else had seen them before – and they couldn't now – but Sideswipe had told them of the power they held.

"Just know that I hate all of you right now. Every. Single. One." They knew she was lying through her denta. Optronix didn't have the spark in her to hate anyone. Silverflare's visor slide back down as she took a seat on one of the medical berths. Prowl and Jazz did the same. Sunstreaker took up his usual spot against the wall, arms crossed over his chest, optics fixed on Optronix. She fixed up Prowl and Jazz first, mostly just so Silverflare would scowl and lowly whine about the pain. Optronix thought it was funny. Sunstreaker wondered if being around Ratchet was rubbing off on her. Around sunrise Ratchet came out with Sideswipe limping a little.

"Sideswipe!" Silverflare threw her arms around him in a hug. With a yelp of pain, Sideswipe and Silverflare hit the floor. He couldn't support them both on his healing leg.

"Flare! I just fixed him!" Optronix snapped loudly. Her wings dipped bashfully.

"Sorry, Nix." She looked over at Sunstreaker whose servo was surprisingly alright, just a little battered.

"I'm not re-fixing him," Ratchet growled.

"You didn't in the first place," Optronix huffed back at him.

"C'mon," Sunstreaker said quietly, leading her away. "You need a nice, long rest." She rolled her optics at him, but didn't refuse.

 **A/N: Optronix belongs to me. Silverflare belongs to LamboTwinsGirl.**


End file.
